On the Move!

Well, I am back. A lot has happened since my last post and it's really damn hard to even touch where I have been these last few months. The truth is, I have been everywhere. I have been up, down and everywhere in between.

My marriage failed. It's a hard thing to say, because anyone who has ever been here knows that it's not really the marriage that failed, but rather the people in the marriage that failed. It's not an easy pill to swallow, but it certainly it what it is. One thing that I have learned is that in the end it doesn't matter who's fault it was. It just doesn't matter. Both parties have failed, and both parties have lost something equally precious, whether they know it or not.

But the fact still remains that it's over. Not without good reason. Not without thousands of hours and the buckets of tears that led me to that point. Not without the moment of hesitation and immense fear that the decision made was the wrong one. Even with all that, it's still over.

So now I am picking up the pieces. Liv and I are searching for better things and even though the reality of what has happened still stings like the air on a cold February morning, we are okay.

I think the thing that amazes me the most about something terrible happening is that something good can always come of it. Every day I look for the positive and every day I know just how blessed I am. Sure, sometimes I have a bad day and wonder why in the hell things didn't end up as I intended them to be but then I think does it really happen like that for anyone? Why in the world would I expect my universe to be so entirely perfect compared to anyone else? I certainly am not going to waste time feeling sorry for myself.

My marriage may have failed. Admittedly, I may have failed. All I really know is this failure has opened so many doors for me that "success" threatened to keep nailed shut forever, so it's hard to regret the mistakes I made. Sometimes life sucks; things don't end up the way you thought they would. It doesn't really mean they ended the wrong way though.

I may have failed. So what? I'm up, I'm smiling, and I am heading for that open door. Life is too short.