Single Mom In Search Of....

Newly single mom has part-time positions available.There is no pay involved but I would like to think spending time around the wonder that is me is payment enough.

Vacant Positions are as follows:

Trash Man- Part-time work Monday and Thursday nights. No real skill involved, just move the cans from the front porch to the street without breaking a bag all over the front steps (as I have done twice in the last month). If you break it, you clean it.

Landscaper- I no longer have a riding mower or weed whacker. I do have a push mower, but no gas can or gas. This position will require that you bring your own tools. I am perfectly capable of completing this task on my own however, it's August, and it's hot. I think a man might be better able to work under these conditions. Last time I attempted this I drank 6 bottles of water and blacked out for a brief period of time.

Mechanic- I do know how to put oil in my car myself, and so far that has worked. I am afraid though that the simple fact that I am going through 4 quarts of oil a week could be signaling a more serious problem.
Also, when I am running late for work in the morning and I hit about 80 mph on the highway, the car starts to shake violently. It's not possible for me to slow down, don't ask. Just come and fix my car.

Disciplinarian- In great need of a dominant male figure willing to be the bad guy so that I can remain the favorite. Most needed around 9pm as bedtime is approaching. Must have firm tone and ability to not laugh when a 3 year old puts her hand on her hip and demands that you, 'Weave her awone!!'.
This is a temporary position for the next year or so, but once the teenage years approach the possibility of a long term opportunity is very likely.

More positions to be added on an as needed basis. Please check back frequently. Again, all positions come with zero pay, no benefits and are on an at-will basis only. I have found that this is really the best solution for all parties involved since at some point you probably will become a pain in my ass, or I will want to hire someone else on a more permanent basis.

Please email all resumes and salary requirements (Remember, there is none. My smiling face should be enough.) to me. No phone inquiries please. Do not apply in person. Interviews by appointment only.