The L Word

I saw an old friend today and heard yet another story of failed marriage. It seems these days I am coming across the same sad story all over the place. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl. Boy and girl fall deeply in love. Boy and girl get married. Within 3 years boy and girl are miserable, child in tow, and then the inevitable D word follows. It's really sad to me that this is happening to more people then just me.

It's even more sad that these are people that I know. People that hold the same ideals toward marriage that I do. People that always thought the first time would be the only time. And that the magic L word would see that nothing ever put them in that D category.

I have been giving thought to the idea that maybe what I am looking for doesn't actually exist. Is it so out there to think that you will find that one person that really does think the "sun shines out your ass"? Is it? No marriage is problem free. I get that. But is it unreasonable to think that problems aside, at the end of the day, your love should conquer all?

All I ever wanted was someone to just love me, no matter what. For someone to be with me for no reason other than that they couldn't fathom the idea of being without me. Faults and all. That even within the most imperfect marriage, ultimately a perfect love would still exist. And after 5, 10 or 40 years, that person would still look at you the same way they did the day you fell in love.

Of course, anyone who knows me knows I am a dreamer. Maybe my idea of love and marriage just isn't realistic. Maybe my heart aims so high that I will never find the love that I think I deserve. All I know is I would rather feel in my heart that it does exist and risk never finding it then to settle for less again and know that I will never find it.

It's gotta be out there.....