Recently I have been getting quite a response from the male population. I am flattered, I really am. Truth be told, I am not very picky at all. I tend to find something I like in everyone. I am however, not 17 anymore, and I some things are non-negotiable. I an effort to eliminate this problem, and reduce the amount of wasted time (on your behalf and mine) hitting on me, here's a little list of some no-no's that I have come up with. If any of this applies to you, I kindly ask that you move right along.
1.)Telling me that my teeth are nice and white IS NOT a pick up line. I mean, it's nice because it means you weren't staring at my chest, but really?? Teeth? Sorry, it doesn't do it for me.
2.)I don't care how nice your other babies mama thinks you are, I am just not willing to go that route. There's a reason she is being referred to as your 'baby mama' and not your wife/girlfriend.
3.)Please do not exaggerate the fact that you "LOVE LITTLE GIRLS" as you are attempting to hit on me while I am holding my 3 year old daughter. That is just creepy. Pedophile anyone?
4.)Don't tell me that the reason you are jobless is because of a 'misunderstanding' in regards to some missing money. ("What had happened was.....")
5.)A complete stranger belting out the lyrics to "Brown Eyed Girl" in the gas station parking lot is not romantic. Please, if you want to talk, introduce yourself. Do not sing. There is no need for that.
6.)Do not go out of your way to convince me what an asshole you are. Girls in high school like assholes. I'm over it. Nice guys only please.
And Finally....
7.)Never...ever...ever brag about the fact that all your male buddies think you are gay. It's really not that funny. Especially when you will neither confirm it nor deny it.
That's all for now.
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Very funny!
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