By Request

Well, here I am. I intended on hitting the sack early tonight (yeah right!) but as I was waiting for my dear darling daughter to finally land in her sugar coma a dear friend reminded me that I haven't written in days. Actually, she is family but I consider her to be more of a friend, because even if she weren't family I would still talk to her :)

It's been a rough few days for me. My grandmother is in the hospital again and even through her wheezing, she makes time to dance a little in her chair. I laugh on the outside, smiling at the wonder that is my Meemaw, but inside I am terrified. I am terrified to see her sick like she was before. Terrified to imagine my life without her. I can't even begin to wonder what holidays would be like, or even a seemingly simple Sunday. In so many ways she is me, and I am her. In everything I say and everything I do, she is there, nestled in her own little compartment in my heart.

Too many times this last month I have been reminded of how fragile life is, and how quickly things change. In the blink of an eye lives are lost, leaving those left behind angry and confused. Those little compartments in their hearts remain full, and everything they do and say still radiates that person who is no longer here. To laugh with, dance with, to spend Sundays with.

But, if they are in everything we do, and everything we say, and stay tucked away in our hearts just the same as when they were here, have we really lost them then?

Have we......??